The Scorpion on Life

M.A. Writes,
I am going camping to in northern Canada with some buddies. Should I be worried about being mauled by bears?

M.A.,
Didn't some people get mauled in Pennsylvania or something? I don't know. I wouldn't worry too much about getting mauled. They go by smell. They're attracted to smell, so don't take a shower. Don't take a shower and don't put on deodorant or cologne. And make sure to put your food up in a tree. Better yet, get two sets of food: one for you and one for the bears. Also get a gun. Just in case.