Thursday, July 27, 2006
On Honesty and Integrity...
You should not own up to your lies, because then people will know that you lied.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
On Casablanca in Old Town Alexandria...
Scorpion: If we're touring around Old Town Alexandria, we could go to the belly-dancing place. It's Moroccan.
DS: That sounds great! Where is it?
Scorpion: Old Town.
DS: Where?
Scorpion: Casablanca.
DS: But where is it?
Scorpion: Old Town.
DS: Where is it?
Scorpion: Casablanca.
DS: WHERE is it?
Scorpoin: Old Town.
Casablanca
DS: That sounds great! Where is it?
Scorpion: Old Town.
DS: Where?
Scorpion: Casablanca.
DS: But where is it?
Scorpion: Old Town.
DS: Where is it?
Scorpion: Casablanca.
DS: WHERE is it?
Scorpoin: Old Town.
Casablanca
Monday, July 24, 2006
On Blemishes...
Scorpion [Looking at his camera]: I still have to go to the dermatologist for that little thing on my back. That's way too much information for you guys, isn't it?
GL: Yes.
Scorpion: I have a picture of it, you want to see?
GL: No. Thanks. Are you freaked out about it?
Scorpion: Yeah. I was freaked out last week; then I forgot about it. Now I'm freaked out again.
GL: Yes.
Scorpion: I have a picture of it, you want to see?
GL: No. Thanks. Are you freaked out about it?
Scorpion: Yeah. I was freaked out last week; then I forgot about it. Now I'm freaked out again.
Thursday, July 20, 2006
On Bad Days...
GL: PK is having a bad day.
Scorpion: Eh, everyday's a bad day. You just have to kind of figure out what level of badness it's going to be. Is it going to be a bang-your-heads-in-the-wall-and-sit-around-working-trying-to-figure-something-out-and-hallucinating kind of day? Or is it going to be a lose an arm or a leg kind of badness? Yeah.
Scorpion: Eh, everyday's a bad day. You just have to kind of figure out what level of badness it's going to be. Is it going to be a bang-your-heads-in-the-wall-and-sit-around-working-trying-to-figure-something-out-and-hallucinating kind of day? Or is it going to be a lose an arm or a leg kind of badness? Yeah.
Friday, July 14, 2006
On Pheromones...
You give me enough money and I could get anyone to fall in love with a monkey.
On Dream Occupations:
MA: Scorpion, let me ask you a question, what is your dream job?
Scorpion: I dunno. Sitting around at home.
MA: But that's not a job, you can't get paid for that.
Scorpion: Then roaming around. Yeah. I'd just roam around.
GL: Well, if you like roaming around, you could write travel guides or something, right? You could roam around and then tell people about how great it is.
Scorpion: Nah. I don't want to tell people how great it is.
Scorpion: I dunno. Sitting around at home.
MA: But that's not a job, you can't get paid for that.
Scorpion: Then roaming around. Yeah. I'd just roam around.
GL: Well, if you like roaming around, you could write travel guides or something, right? You could roam around and then tell people about how great it is.
Scorpion: Nah. I don't want to tell people how great it is.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Hindu is a Middle Eastern Language
[Female bartender discussing her college major]
Her: "I do middle eastern studies."
Scorpion: "Do you speak Hindu?"
Her: "I do middle eastern studies."
Scorpion: "Do you speak Hindu?"
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
On Long Distance Relationships...
DS: Scorpion, how far would you travel to be with a girl?
Scorpion: 20 miles.
DS: ...
GL: What if it was Jessica Alba?
Scorpion: That's different. It depends on who she is, but yeah: 20 miles.
Scorpion: 20 miles.
DS: ...
GL: What if it was Jessica Alba?
Scorpion: That's different. It depends on who she is, but yeah: 20 miles.
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