The Scorpion on Life

1) She has to at least try to pay. She has to do the reach.
2) She can't be married.
3) If she doesn't finish her food, she has to get it boxed up.
4) She has to have all her limbs together. Remember I was hanging out with that girl and she was in Iraq and she got injured but I don't know which part... I didn't know she was going... like, huh....

[After asking a co-worker if she will bring a couple girls and not "dudes"]

Mad Russian: "So is she bringing a couple dudes?"

"I don't like being patted down by a dude. It should always be a girl. Yeah..."

It's pretty close to Mexico, right? I'll have to brush up on my Spanish; stop by Mexico while we're there... We could see Nacho Libre. Yeah. They'll have Nacho Libre down there. I've been wanting to see that.

What if they made everyone who was taking a plane just wear togas?
What if the shoe bomber had a pants bomb instead? Would they make everyone take off their pants? What about a T-shirt bomb?
They're checking for objects when they should be checking people.

On owning the shoe to the right:
GL:        These are your basketball shoes?
Scorpion: Yeah.
GL:        Do you play basketball?
Scorpion: Yeah.
GL:        How tall are you?
Scorpion: Five seven.
GL:        Do you have a great jump shot or something?
Scorpion: No. I just run back and forth. Those guys hit you really hard when you try to set a pick. I don't set a lot of picks. The thing is, you've got to get the right gear. When you have the right gear, people think you can play. Like, for example, my running shoes. When people see me, they think I can run.
PK:        So you're a poseur?
Scorpion: Yeah!

I want to be in charge of all this stuff they're confiscating. I want that contract. I could be in charge of recycling it. There's a lot of money to be made there. I would mix it with concrete.

"They should have yearly football games where the prisoners play against professional football teams. If the prisoners win, they get Presidential pardons. Lots of people would watch the game."

"With enough money, I could turn anyone off the street into a professional singer."